Monday, April 20, 2020

Keeping the Wild Elephants Away

Old story: A man was riding a city bus in a major Midwestern metropolis, with a set of old phone books on his lap and an open window beside him. As the bus moved through the city streets, he periodically tore a page out of one of the phone books and threw the page out the window.

The bus driver, growing increasingly concerned about this odd behavior, radioed to the dispatcher and asked to have a police officer meet the bus at the next stop.

When the bus rolled to a stop at the corner, a uniformed cop was waiting, and saw a page come flying out of the bus window. He boarded the bus and made his way down the aisle to where the man was sitting.

"Hey, buddy, why are you throwing paper out the window of the bus?"

"To keep the wild elephants away," replied the rider matter-of-factly.

"Say again?"

"I'm doing this to keep the wild elephants away. They're huge, dangerous beasts and they could trample an innocent man, woman or child if they're not kept off the streets."

The cop took a deep breath and sighed. Why do I always get the lunatics? he wondered. "Mister, there isn't a wild elephant for miles around here! The zoo doesn't even have one!"

"There, you see?" retorted the bus passenger. "It works!"

When the facts finally come out about just how many people ever actually got sick from the Wuhan bat fever (as opposed to what seems to be the asymptomatic majority), and what the actual mortality rate was as compared to the hysterical predictions amplified by the panic-mongering media, some will argue that these actual, much lower figures are proof that their response to the pandemic danger was justified.

I'm not saying there never were any wild elephants, but don't let anyone tell you that throwing paper out of the bus window is what kept them from trampling innocent citizens.

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